A therapy patient once said to me, “I don’t trust anyone who’s never peed in the shower.”
He then paused and looked at me, expectantly.
It was a test, clearly.
And one I have never forgotten. (Clearly.)
I think we all have one: A secret “trust test.”
Here’s mine:
I don’t trust anyone who says they’ve never made a mistake or been wrong. And that’s doubly true in the world of parenting. (And yes, it applies to parent coaches too. Maybe even more so!)
Why?
Because parenting is really freaking hard!
Parenting in our modern western society, full of systems that weren’t designed for families? Doubly so.
And doing it without a strong support network, or with a kiddo who doesn’t “fit the mold”? …Oooof.
I just can’t imagine there being a parent who never did something they later regretted, realizing there would have been a better way to handle the situation.
Perfection is not the goal. (Ever.)
We all want to be good parents.
But somewhere along the way, “good” got tangled up with “perfect.”
So, consider this your friendly reminder:
Perfection is not an attainable goal in parenting.
It’s not even a desirable goal in parenting.
Why? Because our kids make mistakes too.
If we were perfect (whatever that even means!), we wouldn’t be able to model for them:
- That being human means making mistakes;
- The art of taking responsibility for our actions, and repairing when necessary;
- How to use mistakes as opportunities for personal growth, no matter your age.
Your job is not to be infallible, my friend.
Your job is to show your kid(s) that it’s ok to be wrong sometimes, and to model for them that the first step to learning from our mistakes is recognizing, acknowledging, and taking responsibility for them. [link to apology post]
So, go forth and be your perfectly imperfect self!
